I’ve realized how difficult it is to accept who someone is wholeheartedly -not just in dating, but in everyday social interactions. Accepting a person means understanding your differences and similarities; but it also involves acknowledging and loving them past the ideas that you may disagree on. This is something that extends to everything –our life lessons and experiences. As with most human interaction, there are just some things that we will never fully comprehend but we can start.
Being casual and romantically involved with someone is a little bit more intricate and stressful than I bargained for. I am naturally a very monogamous person –it makes me anxious flirting with multiple guys at the same time, let alone dating them. I’ve accepted this and I’m trying to just relax, enjoy my life, and go with the flow. Along this path, I’ve found some very intellectual and interesting people with whom I have undeniably connected. However, I’ve never realized how my opinionated personality is observed by others until I sat across from someone that is just as assertive as I am. Nonetheless, when you are faced with people that resemble your particular qualities, it helps you learn more about yourself and how others perceive you.
There are certain viewpoints and perspectives that I favor and am looking for in a mate –it’s not an uncommon request: religion, social issues, politics, etc. I would like to have someone in my life that can mutually agree on these top ideas. As I’ve gotten older, these qualities have become more important to me than they used to be. But where do I draw the line on shutting someone out because they don’t meet my “requirements”?
I’ve enjoyed their company, they’re funny, they make me smile; yet these big subjects are always in the back of my mind. He’s great but we don’t agree on certain social issues; our philosophical views on life are conflicting; and on top of all of the other matters, he’s just like me – stubborn and adamant about what he’s passionate about. So when it really comes down to it, what qualities do you prefer to can lead to a successful relationship? When do you look past the differences and accept them into your life? Or do you walk away?
You’re never going to find someone who is exactly like you –that’s the beauty of social interactions and being unique. We’re all snowflakes –perfect and different in our own way. Various environments, interactions, experiences, and genes have molded us into who we are. Our differences can teach us distinctive lessons and help shape us into well-rounded individuals. There is no right or wrong in regards to dissimilarity –there is only perception and perspective.
If you feel that these differences between you and another overwhelm your similarities and it causes more frustration than happiness, then it’s time to move on. In my current situation, these contrasts aren’t so much causing aggravations but they are otherwise opening up my eyes to distinct outlooks. It’s interesting examining the world through another’s eyes. You do not have to agree but if you listen and be open and respectful to another’s perspective, you’re able to understand in new and exciting ways. As long as these individuals do not try to strongly influence you in changing your views, variations can be fruitful and fulfilling. However, this all depends on what you decide to take from it. If you are open and wishing to grow from your experiences, then you are more willing to accept those that come into your life. Learn to gather the most that you can from the differences in those around you –be open-minded, absorb and discover as much as you can. The only way we can grow and overcome difference of opinion is to begin to accept others for who they are –different.