A little over 6 months ago I was ready to give up on my dating search. Then I received an out of the ordinary, sweet and simple message from a very fetching and handsome gentleman. We spoke continually for a few weeks; he wasn’t at all pushy or insistent, and then finally we went out on our first date. His flatteringly, dazed face when he first saw me in person is still the look he has when I catch him gazing at me. It’s taken about 6 months for me to (almost) get used to how well he treats me –you will be happy to know that I finally “allow” him to open doors for me without refusal. He’s become a person in my life that really compliments me rather than consumes and engulfs me. He’s become my best friend that I can be my absolute and ridiculously nerdy self with. I’m still surprised how easily we get along and how similar we are to one another. I am so grateful every day that he found me and I’m certainly blessed that he is my boyfriend. I love you him much.
When the sun leaves the sky,
That’s how I feel when we leave each other.
I’m left glowing and your imprints remain on my skin.
After awhile they fade away into the sky,
And you leave stars in my eyes…
The night sky only glows so brightly when she knows the sun will kiss her in the morning.
How many times have your relationships not worked out? We could be here a while I know…
Now that you’re thinking about it, do you see a commonality?
In all of my experiences and relationships, I take personal responsibility for my part in it. Yes, I may have been cheated on and had my heart crushed multiple times and yes, it was awful and terrible. Yet in all of these instances, the one consistency is ME.
Learning to love myself was one of my greatest lessons in life thus far; it’s a relationship that you have to work on continuously. In retrospect, a lot of my relationship issues were caused from not loving myself enough. I stayed in relationships because I was too scared to leave; because I didn’t want to hurt the other person; because I didn’t realize my self-worth; because I didn’t know I deserved better. The majority of relationship problems stem from miscommunication and perspective. The tricky part is that our perspective is widely affected by our self-esteem. How can we view and treat others with respect and love if we don’t respect and love ourselves first?
That’s why learning to love yourself is the first step to accepting love from others. We can only receive the love we think we deserve. You should come to the realization that you deserve a love that fills every inch of you; a love that makes your heart smile and persists and thrives even in times without light. But first you need to learn to fall in love with yourself. <3
The people that you have in your life are there by no mistake. Every circumstance, every word, and every interaction has an effect on all those around you. Be open to why certain individuals are in your life. Be inspired; learn to love in different ways and be loved in return; be motivated; be pushed; and experience as much as you can take in. ♡ Over the years I have personally limited the people that I surround myself with. I’d rather choose good-hearted and genuine friends around me that share a mutual motivation to inspire and affect others. If you are in my life, you are there for a reason and it means that you have truly influenced me and my decisions at one point or another-could be from a conversation or just from you being you. Just be yourself and always act with intention and love-you never know how you can affect someone. <3
One thing I’ve learned from the past few weeks is to just really live in the moment. I’ve spent too much time in the past over-analyzing every little word someone says to me and this just creates issues that were never there. The best friendships and relationships happen naturally and gracefully. They’re not going to be amazing or real if you force it, so just let it be. When you’ve found someone in your life that accepts you when you’re being completely yourself -without the anxieties, without the questioning, and without the assumptions- that’s the best feeling in the world. They sincerely make your heart smile. ♡