Good Morning Beautiful

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She whispered, “Good morning beautiful,” to the freshly dew-kissed air. She looked on with wonder as the ice crystals high above in the troposphere danced with the sun, and the colors of the spectrum. They chased after her, begging to be seen through the dust speckled windows. <3

October

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Dearest October,
Hello my love, how I have missed you….your soft golden light, your spicy scent of foliage and cooking in the air. Please be good to me and my loved ones. I promise that I will celebrate your presence with heaps of baking, and with as many sweater layers, socks, and boots that I can while under your California autumn sun. Please share yourself with the winter air and rain so that my nose and head do not learn to loathe your harsh, warm winds. I know you are just doing your job -to break away the pieces left behind so that in 6 months from now, new seeds can come back to life. I will embrace all that you offer and all that you express.
Love always,
Monique
<3

Do What You Love and Do A Lot Of It

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Staying positive is tough. No matter what I post, I will be the first to admit that. There are some days I’d rather hibernate in my pillow cave fort and not come out till we have another ice age. Life shouldn’t be like that –we shouldn’t spend our energies on being stressed and overwhelmed and ultimately draining ourselves of what makes us content. So how do you make the choice to just be happy?
Yes, it IS a choice –it’s all in how you perceive what is going on. You could (like how I was last week), feed off of the negativity around you and complain and complain until you have a migraine about it. But did I progress from any of that?-nope, not at all. At the very least, I went backwards from my goals and dreams; while in the process, being an absolute Negative Nancy and Sensitive Sally (just an absolute bitch) to those that I care about most.
We all have stressful lives and events going on. I have an unnecessarily stressful job and I’m working on the most difficult class I could have taken after being out of school for 5 years. Instead of being consumed by stress, I should be focusing on how accomplished I feel, how grateful I am to get to this point, how thankful I am to have those I care about around me. To stay positive in the eye of a negative, stress hurricane, surround yourself with what you love. Do you love escaping into a book? –go take 10 min and read outside. Do you love the sun? –go take a walk and watch the sunset. All around you there are ways to embrace what you love. It’s easier to see through the storm when what you love illuminates and lights up your life. So do what you love, and do a lot of it. <3

Autumn Equinox

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Happy Autumn Equinox! The colors that change throughout the environment…the way the softened sunlight dances through the windows…and the spicy smell of dried leaves in the air…it’s an absolutely beautiful time of year. While spring is understandably associated with new beginnings, autumn is similarly associated with death and endings. It’s not the end, it’s just part of the Universal cycle. During ancient times, fall was a time when the harvest was finished; to wrap up projects before winter. Autumn is a time for reflection –for looking at your internal “harvest,” and to ‘reap what you’ve sown.’ Sit back and watch the season change around you. Let it be an opportunity to learn what has worked and what didn’t for you. Regroup. Take time to manifest your dreams for the future.

“The seeds of the harvest have to die for future crops to be born.”

Take time to prepare to grow. <3

Untangle Yourself

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I never really understood the extent and significance to this statement. Once you learn to relax and let loose the massive grasp of control you have on every detail in your life, the more likely the Universe will be able to intervene more impressively. I have always struggled with anxiety and depression and the one thing that has become my safety net is my attempt to control everything around me –because in my eyes, this is how I can become less anxious, and less fearful of what may happen –I “know” what will happen, because I’m “in control of it!” Right? No, fortunately this is not the case in life. Yes I may feel “safe” and “guarded” due to my safety precautions, but in reality, I am not letting myself live my life –I am forcefully controlling and steering, and that’s truly not the point. This leads to anxiety, frustrations, and negativity. We are meant to be steered and guided by a greater force –in whatever you believe, the Universe helps and aids you in every aspect of your life. Once you open up, and let yourself be helped, your world opens up to these extraordinary possibilities.
Over the past year I have been trying to go back to school. I only need a few more classes before I am able to transfer to a 4 year. Because of my domineering attitude in my decision making, one obstacle kept springing up after another. “I need it THIS way, not THAT way. I CAN’T do it that way, I don’t WANT to do it that way.” Because of this, I became increasingly frustrated, and was very close to giving up. I took a break from my endeavor and unceremoniously came back to it recently. It just so happened that the day that I tried to sign in to apply again, my old password came to me, and some way or another, I signed up exactly a week before classes started –not only that, but the one class that I needed in order to transfer had a few spots still open and it fit into my schedule right after work. There are honestly no words to express how extraordinary and amazing the Universe is… how things come to you, how things just fall into place at exactly the right moment. All you have to do is learn to relax and let go and really absorb and understand exactly what that means. <3 

Don’t Over-Complicate Life

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Definitely had to be reminded of this today. I’ve been super frustrated with work lately and I realized that it really doesn’t need to be like that-I’m only reacting that way. So I stop myself, breathe, and figure out what I can do to make the situation better -put music on, change my methods, and recognize that these little irritations don’t matter as much as the big picture. I am so grateful for the life that I have. That I’m here and that I’m ME-everything that I’ve done in my life, the steps, the words, the directions I’ve taken, it’s all led me to this point now and I’ve affected everyone that I’ve come into contact with. We are all more meaningful and influential than we give ourselves credit for. I’m thankful for kissing all of the frogs in the past and being found by someone that makes me realize that all of those terrible dates, and boyfriends, and searching, and frustrations may have only led me here for an amazing reason… We live in this absolutely beautiful and stunning place and whenever you walk outside into the sunlight, let it awaken your gratefulness for all that you have, all that you will receive and all that is yet to come. ♡ 

The Stars Within

She stepped barefoot through the wet grass,

Green flecks sticking to her toes.

The wind pushed back her hair like invisible fingers,

Tracing the outline of her features.

She held a cross-body bag close to her hip,

Her hand clinging to the top zipper,

Fearful that its’ precious contents would spill out.

She gently undid the top of the bag,

Wedged her hand inside and grasped a small book.

It was drenched in stardust,

Trickling onto the ground and her skirt; sticking to her palms,

There was a trail of wet, dewy stars trailing behind her.

She carried a tiny, infinite universe within her bag,

It held endless possibilities and it was up to her to dream and create them.

She wrote and drew all of her wishes, hopes, and desires in her star-kissed book.

Every time she did, she created more stars, nebulas, and everlasting life and light.

Anything and everything she wanted,

All she had to do was visualize and she instantly created it.

 

She was grateful for her gifts and abilities,

However, there was a loneliness inside her heart,

She yearned for someone extraordinary to share her creations with.

She began to write down all of the qualities she would like in another,

She was detailed in her wishes and a small nebula started to form.

It was tucked away in the corner of her universe, between two planets.

She waited patiently but the nebula did not expand as quickly as others had before,

It seemed suspended in its’ growing state.

She continued on, designing more and more of her unbounded universe,

And soon she put the beautiful, odd nebula out of her starry head.

 

With every dream and star she created,

Another piece of her was unmasked,

Gathered from the lush and vaporous universe.

Soon, her whole heart was revealed as she gazed at her cosmos, satisfied with her innovations.

In the corner of her eye, the unusual nebula began to spread out,

Clouds of colors and light start to form until an immense orb of light shoots out into the vastness.

She shields her eyes.

When she regains her vision, the nebula is gone.

All that remains is the night sky and stars in the distance.

 

Perplexed by the strange occurrence, she scoops up her bag and continues walking.

Tiny droplets start to fall from the clouds up above,

Beads cling to her cheeks and eyelashes as she starts to jog out of the rain.

Puddles form on the ground and she realizes that they are full of stardust.

She looks up at the clouds and they emulate the nebula mist she saw in her universe.

 

She sees something up ahead through the starry haze and her breath is taken away.

On the path, there’s a bright figure of glimmering fog floating in her direction,

As the silhouette glides closer, she senses a sparkling energy in the air, pulsing from the tiny, electrifying cloud.

Distance starts to close in and a feeling of familiarity and intimacy rush and warm through her heart, radiating outwards.

Her legs pull towards the cloud like a magnet,

As she approaches, reaching her fingers out, the mist envelops her in its’ stunning, warm light.

It seeps into her skin, flowing through her body, filling and saturating her.

All at once, she feels full, whole and light as an angel’s feather.

Her eyes are shimmering more than ever before.

She is the most brilliant and radiant star in her sky.

She is complete –filled with all of the love she has given to every starry fragment.

She is her ultimate creation; she is her universe.

 

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I’ve been working on this short story for a few weeks now. I kept going back to it, changing and revising it because I never felt like it was complete. In the beginning, I had planned to have her meet the love of her life in the ending but it just didn’t feel right after it was all laid out on paper –something was off. It seemed like one of those Disney fairytales where the princess cannot be truly happy or whole until the prince comes to rescue her. In my feminist habits, this is absolutely furthest from the message that I wanted to convey.

However, writing this has been a journey all on its’ own for my own realization that the only true love that you should be looking for is the one with yourself. You know in your heart that you deserve more than the relationships that you’ve had in the past, so why don’t you act with that purpose? Knowing is one thing but acting with that knowledge is true wisdom.

You can only find your better whole when you’ve created yourself first. That’s one of the major lessons of life –we’re uncovering so many different pieces of ourselves along the way. Sometimes our path gets shrouded with missteps and we end up following our emotions rather than what our heart is really trying to tell us. I feel it’s rather simple but we overcomplicate it so much that we lose the true meaning of life and of love.

Create yourself and I don’t mean in the way that you need to make up who you are. You already are who you are –give as much love as you can to every piece of yourself; you’ll unfold and blossom. Use that passion to build yourself up, never tear yourself down; learn what works and what doesn’t; take time to heal when another’s actions harm you –your scars are lessons that make you resilient. But truly, once you find that passion within, it’s like you unveil all of the parts of yourself that you never realized were there. Your own creativity and your love will move the mountains that you place in your own way. And once you fully act with love, there’s no reason for your true self to be covered up anymore. And maybe that’s when you’ll find someone that sees that beauty and loves every piece of you.