Your dreams shouldn’t debilitate and incapacitate you. After years and years of working towards realizing and completing your goals, shouldn’t we be willing to sprint towards the finish line when we’re within earshot of them? Dreams shouldn’t be feared when we’re so close to achieving them. But sometimes they can be –they can be really scary and frightening because we’ve struggled all this way. What if it’s not everything that you hoped it would be? What if you don’t think you deserve it? What will you do afterwards?
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, is in my collection of favorite books (I highly suggest it!!). Within it, one of the lessons that are taught is this: “People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t deserve them.”
When we have worked so hard and long towards reaching our dreams, sometimes when we see it within our grasp, we tend to let it go because we don’t feel that it’s ours to attain. But it is! It is YOUR dream after all, isn’t it?
Over the past 10 years, I’ve struggled with finishing school –I’ve been taking classes to transfer to a 4 year college. Life hit me with one situation after another –some veered me off course, but others sent me back to where I needed to be. I’m SO CLOSE to transferring to a 4 year –I’m within grasp of it; and now to be completely honest, I’m freaking out quite a bit over here.
We have our ups and downs with our dreams for exactly this reason –it’s a test to see if we REALLY and TRULY want it. Are we willing to work towards it? Are we going to put in the effort it takes to get to where we want to be? Dreams are dreams for a reason –they’re a journey of time, patience, passion, and dedication. Fulfilling a dream shouldn’t be the frightening part but maybe the conclusion and ending of that dream is what is truly terrifying –having to find a new one.
Having myself so close to where I want to be is just….overwhelming. I’m excited. I’m terrified. I’m happy. I’m despondent and distressed. And I’m stunned and dazed. I have self-sabotaged myself SO much over this and I’ve realized that it’s not for the reasons that I had once thought. It’s because I’m afraid of what comes after this –it’s the unknown part. But that’s okay! I don’t think we can truly and fully experience life without having that little bit of fear –it’s when we tell ourselves to let our faith in our dreams be bigger than our fears –that’s how we endure and attain our dreams; that’s how we push ourselves into the unknown –to go and find a new dream.
“Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.”
She whispered, “Good morning beautiful,” to the freshly dew-kissed air. She looked on with wonder as the ice crystals high above in the troposphere danced with the sun, and the colors of the spectrum. They chased after her, begging to be seen through the dust speckled windows. <3
Hello my love, how I have missed you….your soft golden light, your spicy scent of foliage and cooking in the air. Please be good to me and my loved ones. I promise that I will celebrate your presence with heaps of baking, and with as many sweater layers, socks, and boots that I can while under your California autumn sun. Please share yourself with the winter air and rain so that my nose and head do not learn to loathe your harsh, warm winds. I know you are just doing your job -to break away the pieces left behind so that in 6 months from now, new seeds can come back to life. I will embrace all that you offer and all that you express.
Staying positive is tough. No matter what I post, I will be the first to admit that. There are some days I’d rather hibernate in my pillow cave fort and not come out till we have another ice age. Life shouldn’t be like that –we shouldn’t spend our energies on being stressed and overwhelmed and ultimately draining ourselves of what makes us content. So how do you make the choice to just be happy?
Yes, it IS a choice –it’s all in how you perceive what is going on. You could (like how I was last week), feed off of the negativity around you and complain and complain until you have a migraine about it. But did I progress from any of that?-nope, not at all. At the very least, I went backwards from my goals and dreams; while in the process, being an absolute Negative Nancy and Sensitive Sally (just an absolute bitch) to those that I care about most.
We all have stressful lives and events going on. I have an unnecessarily stressful job and I’m working on the most difficult class I could have taken after being out of school for 5 years. Instead of being consumed by stress, I should be focusing on how accomplished I feel, how grateful I am to get to this point, how thankful I am to have those I care about around me. To stay positive in the eye of a negative, stress hurricane, surround yourself with what you love. Do you love escaping into a book? –go take 10 min and read outside. Do you love the sun? –go take a walk and watch the sunset. All around you there are ways to embrace what you love. It’s easier to see through the storm when what you love illuminates and lights up your life. So do what you love, and do a lot of it. <3
Happy Autumn Equinox! The colors that change throughout the environment…the way the softened sunlight dances through the windows…and the spicy smell of dried leaves in the air…it’s an absolutely beautiful time of year. While spring is understandably associated with new beginnings, autumn is similarly associated with death and endings. It’s not the end, it’s just part of the Universal cycle. During ancient times, fall was a time when the harvest was finished; to wrap up projects before winter. Autumn is a time for reflection –for looking at your internal “harvest,” and to ‘reap what you’ve sown.’ Sit back and watch the season change around you. Let it be an opportunity to learn what has worked and what didn’t for you. Regroup. Take time to manifest your dreams for the future.
“The seeds of the harvest have to die for future crops to be born.”
Take time to prepare to grow. <3
I never really understood the extent and significance to this statement. Once you learn to relax and let loose the massive grasp of control you have on every detail in your life, the more likely the Universe will be able to intervene more impressively. I have always struggled with anxiety and depression and the one thing that has become my safety net is my attempt to control everything around me –because in my eyes, this is how I can become less anxious, and less fearful of what may happen –I “know” what will happen, because I’m “in control of it!” Right? No, fortunately this is not the case in life. Yes I may feel “safe” and “guarded” due to my safety precautions, but in reality, I am not letting myself live my life –I am forcefully controlling and steering, and that’s truly not the point. This leads to anxiety, frustrations, and negativity. We are meant to be steered and guided by a greater force –in whatever you believe, the Universe helps and aids you in every aspect of your life. Once you open up, and let yourself be helped, your world opens up to these extraordinary possibilities.
Over the past year I have been trying to go back to school. I only need a few more classes before I am able to transfer to a 4 year. Because of my domineering attitude in my decision making, one obstacle kept springing up after another. “I need it THIS way, not THAT way. I CAN’T do it that way, I don’t WANT to do it that way.” Because of this, I became increasingly frustrated, and was very close to giving up. I took a break from my endeavor and unceremoniously came back to it recently. It just so happened that the day that I tried to sign in to apply again, my old password came to me, and some way or another, I signed up exactly a week before classes started –not only that, but the one class that I needed in order to transfer had a few spots still open and it fit into my schedule right after work. There are honestly no words to express how extraordinary and amazing the Universe is… how things come to you, how things just fall into place at exactly the right moment. All you have to do is learn to relax and let go and really absorb and understand exactly what that means. <3
Definitely had to be reminded of this today. I’ve been super frustrated with work lately and I realized that it really doesn’t need to be like that-I’m only reacting that way. So I stop myself, breathe, and figure out what I can do to make the situation better -put music on, change my methods, and recognize that these little irritations don’t matter as much as the big picture. I am so grateful for the life that I have. That I’m here and that I’m ME-everything that I’ve done in my life, the steps, the words, the directions I’ve taken, it’s all led me to this point now and I’ve affected everyone that I’ve come into contact with. We are all more meaningful and influential than we give ourselves credit for. I’m thankful for kissing all of the frogs in the past and being found by someone that makes me realize that all of those terrible dates, and boyfriends, and searching, and frustrations may have only led me here for an amazing reason… We live in this absolutely beautiful and stunning place and whenever you walk outside into the sunlight, let it awaken your gratefulness for all that you have, all that you will receive and all that is yet to come. ♡