The Stars Within

She stepped barefoot through the wet grass,

Green flecks sticking to her toes.

The wind pushed back her hair like invisible fingers,

Tracing the outline of her features.

She held a cross-body bag close to her hip,

Her hand clinging to the top zipper,

Fearful that its’ precious contents would spill out.

She gently undid the top of the bag,

Wedged her hand inside and grasped a small book.

It was drenched in stardust,

Trickling onto the ground and her skirt; sticking to her palms,

There was a trail of wet, dewy stars trailing behind her.

She carried a tiny, infinite universe within her bag,

It held endless possibilities and it was up to her to dream and create them.

She wrote and drew all of her wishes, hopes, and desires in her star-kissed book.

Every time she did, she created more stars, nebulas, and everlasting life and light.

Anything and everything she wanted,

All she had to do was visualize and she instantly created it.

 

She was grateful for her gifts and abilities,

However, there was a loneliness inside her heart,

She yearned for someone extraordinary to share her creations with.

She began to write down all of the qualities she would like in another,

She was detailed in her wishes and a small nebula started to form.

It was tucked away in the corner of her universe, between two planets.

She waited patiently but the nebula did not expand as quickly as others had before,

It seemed suspended in its’ growing state.

She continued on, designing more and more of her unbounded universe,

And soon she put the beautiful, odd nebula out of her starry head.

 

With every dream and star she created,

Another piece of her was unmasked,

Gathered from the lush and vaporous universe.

Soon, her whole heart was revealed as she gazed at her cosmos, satisfied with her innovations.

In the corner of her eye, the unusual nebula began to spread out,

Clouds of colors and light start to form until an immense orb of light shoots out into the vastness.

She shields her eyes.

When she regains her vision, the nebula is gone.

All that remains is the night sky and stars in the distance.

 

Perplexed by the strange occurrence, she scoops up her bag and continues walking.

Tiny droplets start to fall from the clouds up above,

Beads cling to her cheeks and eyelashes as she starts to jog out of the rain.

Puddles form on the ground and she realizes that they are full of stardust.

She looks up at the clouds and they emulate the nebula mist she saw in her universe.

 

She sees something up ahead through the starry haze and her breath is taken away.

On the path, there’s a bright figure of glimmering fog floating in her direction,

As the silhouette glides closer, she senses a sparkling energy in the air, pulsing from the tiny, electrifying cloud.

Distance starts to close in and a feeling of familiarity and intimacy rush and warm through her heart, radiating outwards.

Her legs pull towards the cloud like a magnet,

As she approaches, reaching her fingers out, the mist envelops her in its’ stunning, warm light.

It seeps into her skin, flowing through her body, filling and saturating her.

All at once, she feels full, whole and light as an angel’s feather.

Her eyes are shimmering more than ever before.

She is the most brilliant and radiant star in her sky.

She is complete –filled with all of the love she has given to every starry fragment.

She is her ultimate creation; she is her universe.

 

stone_shaped_heart_by_CatchMe_22 - Copy copy

 

I’ve been working on this short story for a few weeks now. I kept going back to it, changing and revising it because I never felt like it was complete. In the beginning, I had planned to have her meet the love of her life in the ending but it just didn’t feel right after it was all laid out on paper –something was off. It seemed like one of those Disney fairytales where the princess cannot be truly happy or whole until the prince comes to rescue her. In my feminist habits, this is absolutely furthest from the message that I wanted to convey.

However, writing this has been a journey all on its’ own for my own realization that the only true love that you should be looking for is the one with yourself. You know in your heart that you deserve more than the relationships that you’ve had in the past, so why don’t you act with that purpose? Knowing is one thing but acting with that knowledge is true wisdom.

You can only find your better whole when you’ve created yourself first. That’s one of the major lessons of life –we’re uncovering so many different pieces of ourselves along the way. Sometimes our path gets shrouded with missteps and we end up following our emotions rather than what our heart is really trying to tell us. I feel it’s rather simple but we overcomplicate it so much that we lose the true meaning of life and of love.

Create yourself and I don’t mean in the way that you need to make up who you are. You already are who you are –give as much love as you can to every piece of yourself; you’ll unfold and blossom. Use that passion to build yourself up, never tear yourself down; learn what works and what doesn’t; take time to heal when another’s actions harm you –your scars are lessons that make you resilient. But truly, once you find that passion within, it’s like you unveil all of the parts of yourself that you never realized were there. Your own creativity and your love will move the mountains that you place in your own way. And once you fully act with love, there’s no reason for your true self to be covered up anymore. And maybe that’s when you’ll find someone that sees that beauty and loves every piece of you.

 

Mind Reading and Writing

“So if you don’t ask questions, how do you think you’re going to find out what you want to know? I’m not a mind-reader,”

After he said this I felt like I was crazy woman because as I always do, I overanalyze everything to the point where it becomes some huge thing made up in my mind. Yet, when you sit down to communicate your feelings, you realize that it’s not as complicated as it was built up in your head. But really…men should just be mind-readers…it would be easier.

When something is bothering me I reflect on it and then my feelings bubble up and get mixed into the equation. Then my worries and anxieties start to take over:

“This could happen and he probably means this and he’s thinking this! GASP!”

You would think with as much advice as I provide, I would actually take my own. Yet, sometimes, I completely contradict myself.

I’m a very methodical person –I like to write things out and organize them to comprehend them more easily. Sometimes you have to borrow other approaches from different parts of your life and find out if they work for you in other aspects.

Feelings and thoughts can get complicated, so if you feel it will work for you, write it out, make lists, attempt to make sense of the lustrous thoughts in your head. Once it’s on paper or you speak out loud, it becomes concrete and tangible and you’re able to easily make more sense of it.

We become confused because we let our emotions take over. Learning to separate it is important and lets us communicate more effectively.

While on the subject of written word, try writing down your wants, your needs, and wishes. Writing by hand greatly affects your brain:

When you are writing something down with a pen and paper, you are stimulating a collection of cells in the base of your brain known as the reticular activating system. The RAS is the filter for all of the information your brain needs to process and it gives more attention to what you are currently focusing on. The physical act of writing brings the information to the forefront and triggers your brain to pay close attention.1

Communication is the most important piece of human interaction –not only with others but for yourself as well. Speak and write what’s on your mind and make it real and tangible. The more observable your thoughts and feelings become, the more effectively you’re able to convey them.

mywriting   writing  writing2

 

  1.                 http://dailyinfographic.com/how-does-writing-affect-your-brain-infographic

 

Just Learn to Breathe

Image

Just Learn to Breathe

Spring Ahead and Grow!

Image

Spring Ahead and Grow!

How Your Outlook on Life Helps You Realize Who You Are

There is a saying from Stoic ancient philosophy, “There is no good or bad, there is only perception. ” I feel that this statement can be accurate when describing different outlooks. Life happens all around us and despite our convictions, it does not stop or slow down. So how do we preserve our character? –we change our perspective. It is our choice whether to look at life positively or negatively and once we choose, that is what we seek.

In high school, I was a predictable moody teenager; yet depression and anxiety became an ever-growing setback. Unfortunately, depression runs in my family so that gloominess stuck around me for quite a few years. It was hard to shake off but there was a succession of days and weeks where my outlook slowly started to transform. I began to reflect being negative and despondent was absolutely exhausting and pointless. Picking out the bad only brought upon more negative because I was searching for it –I was familiar with it. Our minds are endlessly fluctuating by means of our environment, the people around us, and most of all, our attitude. Human beings are an amazing species because we alone can change our viewpoint on the world. We can choose whether to be ignorant, informed, optimistic, or pessimistic. We can decide to look at things in a certain hue –once this occurs, we start to seek out this color in everything we experience.

Being positive definitely does not mean that you are happy and carefree one-hundred percent of the time. Having a positive outlook means that you are able to look for the good in everything that you see and experience –it means that you perceive things differently. In every day that passes, you prefer to explore the good even when depraved things occur. Like attracts like. Those that inflict pain and hurt in others are only breaking themselves apart. You cannot expect good things to come into your life if you do not first create good and positive feelings in yourself and in those around you.

Being positive leaves you with more of an open mind and you tend to make clearer choices. You are able to let go of the strong emotions that are connected to certain situations and can view it objectively. You see a path cut out for you and can perceive your future fearlessly. Your anxieties and nagging fears stray away because you know that everything has a purpose. Your self-esteem and confidence are ignited. You feel as if you can do anything -you are limitless. You find that there is no point to regret or be depressed about what has already been. Being anxious about the future is useless. When you are living in the moment, you are truly at peace. Of course you can have bad moods and feel melancholy at times, but the difference is that you know that this passes.

Do you continually have problems with that unpleasant voice in your head? –stop and tell yourself something positive. For every negative thought passing through:

“You’re fat,” “Why would you do that!?” “You’re not good enough”;

tell yourself something positive that you love:

“Being fit doesn’t happen overnight -I’m working on it,” “I can’t change what already happened so I’m moving on and I can only go up from here,” “I will always be great and enough! I am ME and there is no one in the world exactly like me”

This is a lifestyle change and an improvement that I myself strive to work on daily. You have to make an effort to retain positivity. Instead of saying “I have to,” to something that’s not favorable (I.e. chores, homework, work, etc.), start saying to yourself “I get to,” and it will slowly change the way you think about it. Remember, not everyone has the life that you do so be grateful for yourself.

Being positive shouldn’t be looked at as a chore –it’s a standard of living and it gets easier to acclimate yourself so that it comes as second nature. It becomes simpler to let go of things that do not better you. This makes you realize your goals and how to pursue them and gives you the ability to let go of your fears regarding them. You become more accepting of criticism because you know that you can always do better.

Some people have approached me telling me that because of my bubbly and optimistic outlook on life, I am therefore naïve and have “obviously not had hardship in my life.” Quite ignorantly said and furthest from the truth. Every one of us goes through our own journey –we should never compare ourselves in regards to our path in life –there is NO COMPARISON. It is absolutely silly to assess because we are all so different and we are meant to learn various lessons. The reason that I am this way is because I’ve embraced who I truly am. I look for the good in life because I believe that that is what I am meant to search for. When you are going through hardship, it is easier to accept when you look at all of the beauty around you. Sometimes not everyone can see or be aware of it so they need someone to point it out to them. And, yes, of course there is death and suffering in the world, but as with everything, there is balance. Once you get through the tough times, you become so much more grateful for the good in your life.

DSCN1616

In the Present

Image

In the Present

Difference of Opinion

I’ve realized how difficult it is to accept who someone is wholeheartedly -not just in dating, but in everyday social interactions. Accepting a person means understanding your differences and similarities; but it also involves acknowledging and loving them past the ideas that you may disagree on. This is something that extends to everything –our life lessons and experiences. As with most human interaction, there are just some things that we will never fully comprehend but we can start.

Being casual and romantically involved with someone is a little bit more intricate and stressful than I bargained for. I am naturally a very monogamous person –it makes me anxious flirting with multiple guys at the same time, let alone dating them. I’ve accepted this and I’m trying to just relax, enjoy my life, and go with the flow. Along this path, I’ve found some very intellectual and interesting people with whom I have undeniably connected. However, I’ve never realized how my opinionated personality is observed by others until I sat across from someone that is just as assertive as I am. Nonetheless, when you are faced with people that resemble your particular qualities, it helps you learn more about yourself and how others perceive you.

There are certain viewpoints and perspectives that I favor and am looking for in a mate –it’s not an uncommon request: religion, social issues, politics, etc. I would like to have someone in my life that can mutually agree on these top ideas. As I’ve gotten older, these qualities have become more important to me than they used to be. But where do I draw the line on shutting someone out because they don’t meet my “requirements”?

I’ve enjoyed their company, they’re funny, they make me smile; yet these big subjects are always in the back of my mind. He’s great but we don’t agree on certain social issues; our philosophical views on life are conflicting; and on top of all of the other matters, he’s just like me – stubborn and adamant about what he’s passionate about. So when it really comes down to it, what qualities do you prefer to can lead to a successful relationship? When do you look past the differences and accept them into your life? Or do you walk away?

You’re never going to find someone who is exactly like you –that’s the beauty of social interactions and being unique. We’re all snowflakes –perfect and different in our own way. Various environments, interactions, experiences, and genes have molded us into who we are. Our differences can teach us distinctive lessons and help shape us into well-rounded individuals. There is no right or wrong in regards to dissimilarity –there is only perception and perspective.

If you feel that these differences between you and another overwhelm your similarities and it causes more frustration than happiness, then it’s time to move on. In my current situation, these contrasts aren’t so much causing aggravations but they are otherwise opening up my eyes to distinct outlooks. It’s interesting examining the world through another’s eyes. You do not have to agree but if you listen and be open and respectful to another’s perspective, you’re able to understand in new and exciting ways. As long as these individuals do not try to strongly influence you in changing your views, variations can be fruitful and fulfilling. However, this all depends on what you decide to take from it. If you are open and wishing to grow from your experiences, then you are more willing to accept those that come into your life. Learn to gather the most that you can from the differences in those around you –be open-minded, absorb and discover as much as you can. The only way we can grow and overcome difference of opinion is to begin to accept others for who they are –different.

DSCN1839